I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
