I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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