the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Randomize