went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
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We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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