Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
it's like heaven, but drunker
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
