Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
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this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
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I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?