i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.