Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
