Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
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