is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
