so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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