THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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