dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
