i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
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Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
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I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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