to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
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