ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
why do cheetos always look like penises
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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