I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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