Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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