I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
