it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
