This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
