Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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