Pants 0. Shit 1.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
