I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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