are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
