....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
