And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
meet me or not, i'm out of control
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
