Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
