you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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