Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
