i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
