This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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