$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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