i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
