Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
