Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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