I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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