You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
