I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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