Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
