If that was your dad, he is hot
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
