another moral hangover. fuck.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
