I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize