she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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