i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
