I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
