I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Randomize
