i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Everything about him screamed your future.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?