I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
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Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
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you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?