hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my shit smells like andre
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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