I have demons in me.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
