Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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