Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Randomize
