we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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