sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
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I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
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I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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