i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
