I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
When did angry sex become our thing?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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