i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
