I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
