OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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