Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Randomize
