i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
