heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
